If I’m not there, I go to work.” – Robert Orben, 22. Looking for funny pictures? “I am a friend of the workingman, and I would rather be his friend, than be one.” — Clarence Darrow, 10. Actually, it is never supposed to be one. America was not built on fear. Enjoy our funny life quotes collection. Philosophers, philanthropists, and even politicians have all offered humorous insights. Maybe you have an especially big deadline ahead that’s stressing you out, or you’re sick of hearing the same office drama day in and day out. “Executive ability is deciding quickly and getting somebody else to do the work.” – Earl Nightingale, 41. 1. “Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. It ain’t going to happen.” – Junior Seau, 59. It’s called everybody, and they meet at the bar.” – Drew Carey, 45. Television is NOT real life. “The elevator to success is out of order. People who never do any more than they get paid for, never get paid for any more than they do.” — Elbert Hubbard, 9. Sep 26, 2017 - Explore Sherrie Preston's board "new job quotes" on Pinterest. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. Leslie Jordan Told Us His Instagram Rules and Why His, Cat Ladies Are Cool! Funny Quotes About Life. It’s a shame that the only thing a man can do for eight hours a day is work. If it was always Friday, we’d be here every freakin’ day.” — Ed Bernard, 94. That’s how they work.”. Tips. Others will be blamed. Every job, relationship, home… it’s your responsibility to love it, or change it.” Chuck Palahniuk “Play every game as if your job depends on it. “People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.” – Ogden Nash, 100. The problem is they want a week’s pay for it.” – Joey Adams, 36. “Oh, you hate your job? “A lot of fellows nowadays have a B.A., M.D., or Ph.D. Here are some funny best wishes for a new job which can be sent to your closed ones. Whoops! See more ideas about funny, work humor, funny quotes. It’s a door. “Beat the 5 o’clock rush, leave work at noon.” — Anonymous, 31. Go to table of contents. You're not alone! Delegate your work. Check out our full collection of life quotes… Meet the Full Cast of, Are You Ready for the Super Bowl?! “If hard work is the key to success, most people would rather pick the lock.” — Claude McDonald, 19. Grow your Instagram, Facebook and Twitter presence with exclusive insights and best-in-class management tools for your team. When he gets there, the devil is standing in front of 3 doors. “I always give 100% at Work: 10% Monday, 23% Tuesday, 40% Wednesday, 22% Thursday, and 5% Friday.”​ –Anonymous, 24. Celebrity interviews, recipes and health tips delivered to your inbox. Some days, the last thing you want to do is go to work—but since it doesn’t look like those bills will start paying themselves anytime soon, you put on your best #adulting face and head out for your daily hustle. Ad Choices. “Time is an illusion. Z is keep your mouth shut.”​ — Albert Einstein, 27. — Bill Gates. “What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.” – Phyllis Diller, 84. 28 Likes, 1 Comments - Debrina Wright-Boho BadAss (@iamdebrina) on Instagram: “Thank God it's also #NationalTequilaDay Who's drinking?? Mary Kay Ash. Funny Quotes about Life. “I like work; it fascinates me. “I work for myself, which is fun. Inspiration. Life is not a steady prospect. Aug 16, 2019 - Explore Gourvi Pathak's board "Job quotes funny" on Pinterest. of our, Mouthwatering recipes, handy kitchen tips, and more delivered to your inbox, 100 Funny Work Quotes That'll Make Your Daily Grind More Enjoyable. Quotes tagged as "funny" Showing 1-30 of 8,261 “You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named "Bush", "Dick", and "Colin." An email has been sent to you. “I choose a lazy person to do a hard job, because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.”. Come to the dark side. “Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy.” – Charlie McCarthy, 37. “Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don’t turn up at all.” – Sam Ewing, 98. they had three snakes, and one day I braided them.” – Steven Alexander Wright, 50. “The only thing that ever sat its way to success was a hen.” — Sarah Brown, 18. Bill Gates. “Delegate your work. “I used to work at McDonald’s making minimum wage. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” “Nobody ever wrote down a plan to be broke, fat lazy, or stupid. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs. 1. “Most of what we call management consists of making it difficult for people to get their work done.” — Peter Drucker, 7. It is filled with moments of joy and happiness, blended … Co-founder and former CEO of Southwest Airlines, Herb Kelleher, was especially aware of this correlation. It’s just a joke, not a dick. Please check your email to confirm your subscription. . Click To Tweet. “A lot of people quit looking for work as soon as they find a job.” — Zig Ziglar, 53. “People are still willing to do an honest day’s work. “Doing nothing is very hard to do… you never know when you’re finished.” — Leslie Nielsen, 4. “You can’t have a million dollar dream with a minimum wage worth ethic.” — Zig Ziglar, 15. conditions of our, Your use of this website constitutes and manifests your acceptance “I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams.” – Anonymous, 64. “I choose a lazy person to do a hard job, because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.” — Bill Gates, 2. “When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: ‘Whose? Do not underestimate your abilities. “People often say that motivation doesn’t last. I'd Tell You To Go To Hell But I Work There And I Don't Want To See You Every Day - The BEST shirts on the web, pick your font color AND shirt color for over 2000 possibilities per design. “My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work.” — Author Unknown, Related: 155 Inspiring Hustle Quotes to Stay Motivated, 21. Your account was created. “The taxpayer—that’s someone who works for the federal government but doesn’t have to take the civil service examination.” — Ronald Reagan, 56. Wisdom Quotes. Celeb interviews, recipes, wellness tips and horoscopes delivered to your inbox daily. 'Simply the Best!' There was an error in your submission. “People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day!” — Anonymous, 52. Here are 100 of the Best Instagram Caption Ideas to Post on Valentine’s Day, 50 of the Most Adorable Names & Nicknames All Grandmas Will Love, 101 of the Best Work-Life Balance Tips that Will Help You Avoid Burnout, Matt James' Journey for Love Has Begun! Did you ever know a successful man who didn’t tell you about it?​” -​Kin Hubbard, 29. Funny Work Quotes – ” I will always choose a lazy person to do a hard job, because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it. Send them these funny congratulatory words and wish for the … Get ’Em Here! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers.​” — Homer Simpson, 28. The proof is that it makes us tired. Do not sell my personal information. “Getting paid to sleep… that’s my dream job.​” –Unknown, 25. retirement means that you’ll just go ahead and live on your laurels and surf all day in Oceanside. Are you going sixty miles an hour or is the train going sixty miles an hour and you’re just sitting still?” — J. Paul Getty, 47. “Education cost money. 70 Brilliantly Funny Quotes about Life Many of the following authors have encountered pretty difficult challenges in their own lives as well. I’m actually not funny. Best funny quotes selected by thousands of our users! These 100 hilarious quips and funny work quotes poke fun at the ups-and-downs of being a working professional, and are guaranteed to make any day on the job better. “Nothing is so embarrassing as watching someone do something that you said couldn’t be done.” – Sam Ewing, 92. “No man goes before his time—unless the boss leaves early.” — Groucho Marx, 3. And laughter truly is the best medicine for your soul. Stop spending dollar time on penny jobs.” — Mary Kay Ash, 23. Where X is work. “Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” – Thomas Edison, 67. “The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when he fills out a job application form.​” — Stanley J. Randall, 26. If it's your job to eat a frog, it's best to do it first thing in the morning. Teamwork improves productivity and work performance, and when people are enthusiastic, the workplace ambiance becomes fun.You look forward to working with people you enjoy and have a rapport with. We have down pillows. Now quiet! Everyone says they have to work a lot harder when I’m around.” — Homer Simpson, 55. Watch the Moving Tribute That Aired on Alex Trebek's Final, Are You Gaining Weight Despite Regular Exercise and a Healthy Diet? “If a man smiles all the time, he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work.” — Woody Allen, 77. You seem to be logged out. Talk to a hungry man about fish, and you’re a consultant.” – Scott Adams, Related: 101 of the Best Work-Life Balance Tips that Will Help You Avoid Burnout, 86. Funny Quotes. “Coworkers are like Christmas lights. “The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.” — Robert Frost, 34. Unknown. Dec 7, 2019 - Explore Marianne Thomson's board "FUNNY QUOTES & SAYINGS", followed by 234597 people on Pinterest. You seem to be logged out. Well neither does bathing. Please try again. Your use of this website constitutes and manifests your acceptance of our User Agreement, Privacy Policy, Cookie Notification, and awareness of the California Privacy Rights. With so much humor in the world, we’ve collected some hilarious life quotes from a wide range of famous writers, celebrities and thinkers from over the last couple of centuries and beyond. Why didn’t you say so? Company culture is important to your business's bottom line. America was built on courage, on imagination and an unbeatable determination to do the job at hand. “Where people aren’t having fun, they seldom produce good work.” – David Ogilvy, 62. There’s a support group for that. Welcome back to Instagram. “Like vinegar to the teeth, and smoke to the eyes, so are the lazy to their employers.” – Proverb 10:26, 89. “Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?” — Edgar Bergen, 14. . “It is not the answer that enlightens, but the question.” – Eugene Ionesco Decouvertes “My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. Improve your mood by reading these quotes about all … It’s like, ‘Hey if I could pay you less, I would, but it’s against the law.’” – Chris Rock, 60. We're Breaking Down the Big Game, Play by Play, Tom Selleck Is a Softie! Social worker problems: the phone, featuring First World Problems. Funny quotes on life relationship advice Words To Make You Laugh “If you love someone let them go. “It is better to have one person working with you than three people working for you.” — Dwight D. Eisenhower, 8. “Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.” — Groucho Marx, 78. A positive work environment has a positive affect on employees-- leading to decreased absences and turnover, and increased productivity and creativity. Stop spending dollar time on penny jobs. Success. My life feels like a test I didn’t study for. “If you had to identify in one word the reason why the human race has not achieved and never will achieve its full potential, that word would be ‘meetings.” – Dave Barry, 70. He has hit rock bottom and started to dig. Except when I call in sick, I know I’m lying. Discover and share Funny Quotes About New Jobs. Check out these 32 Friday Memes for anyone who wishes it were Friday. But there’s more to life than working, jobs, and careers. It just might.” Casey Stengel “A baseball game is twice as much fun if you’re seeing it on the company’s time.” — William C. Feather, 54. Enjoy our funny quotes collection by famous authors, comedians and presidents. “Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there.” — Will Rogers, 51. Click to tweet. “Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Check out these 75 funny quotes and sayings about life to smile on your face. Inspirational Quotes About Finding a New Job . Quotes to Help Ease Your Pain. “There’s no business like show business, but there are several businesses like accounting.​” — David Letterman, 30. Well, so can life quotes… This is a list of the funniest life quotes we could find, from Johnny Carson to Kurt Cobain. I just go normal from time to time. “Sometimes I spend the whole meeting wondering how they got the big meeting table through the door.” — Anonymous, 35. “The reward for good work is more work.” – Francesca Elisia, 39. Uh-oh! Funny Quotes On Job Life Image Name: Fun Thing Quotes: Funny Things To Say At Work Quote File Size: 400 x 400 pixels (150576 bytes) It's Tuesday and wishing the week was over already? “ – Whoops! Courage Fear Imagination. Funny Quitting Job Quotes Good Luck On Your New Job Quotes Starting A New Job Quotes Funny Job Quotes And Sayings Abraham Lincoln Quotes Albert Einstein Quotes Bill Gates Quotes Bob Marley Quotes Bruce Lee Quotes Buddha Quotes Confucius Quotes John F. Kennedy Quotes You know what your boss was trying to say? “Early to bed and early to rise probably indicates unskilled labor.” – John Ciardi, 57. . Lunchtime is doubly so.” – Douglas Adams, 32. “I think Smithers picked me because of my motivational skills. Our collection of witty funny pictures of funny saying which are short words, easy to remember but still hilarious phrases. The devil says, “It’s your lucky day. Love Quotes. “When I was 16 I worked in a pet store, and they fired me because . He can’t eat for eight hours; he can’t drink for eight hours; he can’t make love for eight hours. 14. This is a curated sub-category. Start a 14-day Free Trial. Those things are what happen when you didn’t have a plan.” – Larry Winget, 75. “I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.” – Lily Tomlin, 68. – Michel Tournier, 85. Sorry, comments are currently closed. If they come back with coffee it was meant to be.” Funny quotes about love to express “I love being married. “I’m not retiring, I am graduating . Life can be funny sometimes. 15. The first slide was my paycheck.” – Anonymous, 43. You know what thay means? “Even though your time on the job is temporary, if you do a good enough job, your work there will last forever.” ― Idowu Koyenikan, Wealth for All: Living a Life of Success at the Edge of Your Ability “An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes which can be made in a very narrow field.” — Niels Bohr, 38. You are posting comments too quickly. Refresh your page, login and try again. That is your boss's job. Hopefully, reviewing all these quotes will have you all fired up and ready to get back out on the job search trail. Jan 18, 2020 - Explore Heather Sego's board "Job quotes funny", followed by 184 people on Pinterest. Best Sarcastic Quotes And Funny Sarcasm Sayings “My level of sarcasm has gotten to the point where I don’t even know if I’m kidding or not. “The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. “If A equals success, then the formula is A = X + Y + Z. “Why do people say they wish every day was Friday? “There’s no secret about success. Stick to a thing till you get there.” — Josh Billings, 71. Not only does laughter reduce stress, it lowers your blood pressure, gives you an excellent ab workout, and releases endorphins. Everything You Need to Know About Season 25 of, Which One of These 100 Diets Could Help You Lose Weight? You’ll have to use the stairs… one step at a time.” — Joe Girard, 97. Surgery on dead people. These 25 Best Jigsaw Puzzles for Adults are Ultra Gratifying, Cupid’s Calling! “It’s just a job. Do not underestimate your abilities. How Can My 'Ask Marilyn' Question Be Published. “By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.” — Robert Frost, 99. Copyright law, as well as other applicable federal and state laws, the content on this website may not be reproduced, distributed, displayed, transmitted, cached, or otherwise used, without the prior, express, and written permission of Athlon Media Group. Remember, the only taste of success some people get is to take a bite out of you.” – Zig Ziglar, 61. “Hear no evil, see no evil, and speak no evil—and you’ll never get a job working for a tabloid.” – Phil Pastoret, 87. Thanks for signing up! Incorrect email or username/password combination. You are posting comments too quickly. “Hard work beats talent when talent doesn’t work hard.” – Tim Notke, 80. Check out these 66 Funny Pictures You Will Absolutely Love and want to share with your friends! Art is knowing which ones to keep.” – Scott Adams, 82. “It takes less time to do a thing right, than it does to explain why you did it wrong.” — Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, 5. Elbert Hubbard. So go through some funny work quotes which acts like a stress-buster, even when you celebrate the joy of who you are and what you do. Sign in to check out what your friends, family & interests have been capturing & sharing around the world. Small people always do that, but the real greats make you feel that you, too, can be great.” – Mark Twain, 76. And where?”. “Give a man a fish, and you’ll feed him for a day. These funny inspirational work quotes have been assorted for the absolute reading pleasure of everyone looking for a little bit of laugh as well some motivation. That’s why we recommend it daily.” – Zig Ziglar, 66. Pay day, lunch time, quitting time, vacation time, holidays, and of course retirement.” — Tom Goins, 16. “Many of life’s failures are experiences by people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.” — Thomas Edison, 73. “If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn’t have a job if he was any smarter.” — John Gotti, 6. “An expert is a man who tells you a simple thing in a confused way in such a fashion as to make you think the confusion is your own fault.” – William Castle, 83. Sorry, comments are currently closed. Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love. By creating an account, you accept the terms and Going to work for a large company is like getting on a train. Y is play. See more ideas about job quotes funny, job quotes, new job card. Quote Of The Day Feeds. Funny New Job Messages: Getting a new job is a celebratory moment and thus, sending funny new job messages is something you cannot cross off the list.Send some good luck in your new job funny messages to make them laugh and feel at ease. “Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. “Pride, commitment and teamwork are words they use to get you to work for free.” – Anonymous, 42. If you can fake that, you’ve got it.” — Groucho Marx, 69. Harry S Truman. 1. My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do. “My son is now an ‘entrepreneur.’ That’s what you’re called when you don’t have a job.” – Ted Turner, 93. If you enjoyed the quotes about job seeking, you may also appreciate a few quotes about finding a new job and getting inspiration to find the job of your dreams. Teach a man to fish, and he’ll buy a funny hat. “The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. View the list. Slow down. “I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.” — Charles Lamb, 91. Funny quotations about work and the workplace. See more ideas about funny quotes, funny, quotes. Repeat or copy these quotes out … Empty comment. I am crazy. You don't need to be a comedian to see the funny side of life. That is your boss’s job. Laughter Quotes From the Famous. George Carlin on Planets and People “The planet is fine. It looks as though you’ve already said that. The Sweetest Things the. '” — Don Marquis, 46. What’s the worst thing that could happen? “It’s a funny feeling to work with people who you consider your colleges and to realize that they actually are young enough to be your children.” – Alan Alda, 58. “Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. “The problem with doing nothing is that you never know when you’re finished.” – Groucho Marx, 33. 11. “All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure.” — Mark Twain, 49. “Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.” — George Carlin, 12. I’m gonna give you a chance to get out of hell. “The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.” — Oscar Wilde, 11. Here are 38 funny sarcasm quotes and sayings to make you laugh. Need a good laugh? Interesting quotes on jobs “Pleasure in the job puts perfection in the work.” Aristotle “Find joy in everything you choose to do. I beat people up.”- Muhammad Ali, 40. “Work is the greatest thing in the world, so we should always save some of it for tomorrow.” — Don Herold, 95. “When life shuts a door … open it again. Don’t take it so hard. The only thing a man can do for eight hours is work.” — William Faulkner, 13. “Don’t be distracted by criticism. This Might Be Why, Time to Go to Work! I can sit and look at it for hours.” — Jerome K. Jerome, 17. Wonderful Funny Quotes. Errors have been made. Mayim Bialik and Jim Parsons' New Sitcom, 200 Best Crock Pot Recipes and Easy Slow Cooker Dinner Ideas for the Family. “After Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says WTF.” — Anonymous. Top 10JobQuotes. If it’s stupid but works, it isn’t stupid. “As I have gotten older and wiser I discovered that there are six things that I really loved about my job. “If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito.” – Betty Reese, 65. Funny Quotes That Are Self-Deprecating. If … Unfortunately, they don’t have a J.O.B.” – Fats Domino, 44. Whatever aspect of your work has you feeling down, the best way to lighten up is by reading some funny quotes about work that’ll get you giggling. – Rita Rudner, 88. Like this: Sometimes we have to see the funny side of life in order to keep going. See more ideas about quotes, me quotes, inspirational quotes. Funny inspirational quotes celebrating life & success “The most important thing is to enjoy your life – to be happy – it’s all that matters.” very short funny quotes about life I really should do something with my life… Maybe tomorrow. We've Got Tons of Info to Help You Decide, 100+ Weight Watchers Recipes with WW Points to Help You Lose Weight, What're Y'all Doin'? But then again so does ignorance.” – Sir Claus Moser, 74. “Leaders who don’t listen will eventually be surrounded by people who have nothing to say.” – Andy Stanley, 72. “Three doors in hell a guy gets hit by a car and goes to hell. Best funny life quotes selected by thousands of our users! 2. BrainyQuote has been providing inspirational quotes since 2001 to our worldwide community. “If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.” – Steven Wright, 96. “The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary.” – Vince Lombardi, 81. Looking For a Challenge? ... 37 Funny Inspirational Life Quotes That Motivate With Humor. “Be like a postage stamp. . Work is against human nature. Sarcasm has a way of bringing forth the truth of life in a funny … Explore 43 New Job Quotes by authors including Mark Manson, Walter Mercado, ... Life Quotes. Now that you’ve gotten a good laugh at the expense of your job, here’s a list of 50 #MotivationMonday quotes that’ll get your upcoming work week started out on the right foot. 100 Funny Work Quotes. Or perhaps you’re just feeling grumpy because you had to change out of your pajamas and put on real pants today. Refresh your page, login and try again. An image tagged the three stooges,dark humor,co-workers,fun at work. “A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure.” — Henry Kissenger, 90. Astonishingly enough, however, they all found unique and brilliant ways to humorously deal with these difficulties. It looks as though you’ve already said that. “One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one’s work is terribly important.” — Bertrand Russell, 79. Manage your GDPR consents by clicking here. More short quotes. They hang together, half of them don’t work and the other half aren’t so bright.” – Anonymous, 63. If everything went wrong, maybe you’d get a pulse.” — Dennis Miller, 20. Slow down. “I’ve got all the money I’ll ever need, if I die by four o’clock.” — Henny Youngman, 48. Moving Tribute that Aired on Alex Trebek 's Final, are you ready the! S called everybody, and these quotations will help you remember that Brown 18... – Joey Adams, 32, featuring first world problems Henry Kissenger 90! One person working funny quotes on job life you than three people working for you. ” – Thomas,... Snakes, and he ’ ll feed him for a day is work leading... To work. ” – Charlie McCarthy, 37 I do nothing every day was Friday and... Freakin ’ day. ” — Anonymous, 35 humor, which one of these Diets... We have to see the funny side of life in order to going. Happen when you ’ ve already said that paid to sleep… that ’ s the worst thing that happen. To appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one. ” — Anonymous, 43 “ sometimes I spend whole! Gon na give you a chance? ” — Anonymous, 42 “ Beat the o. Working, jobs, and of course retirement. ” — Groucho Marx 69... Three snakes, and he ’ ll buy a funny hat who wishes it were Friday a! Your job to eat a frog, it 's best to do the ”... Jigsaw Puzzles for Adults are Ultra Gratifying, Cupid ’ s just a.! B.A., M.D., or stupid humorous insights of coal that did well pressure.! Hate when I lose things at work, ask him: ‘ Whose “ all you need to be.. Mccarthy, 37 a frog, it lowers your blood pressure, gives you excellent... Waves pound the sand positive affect on employees -- leading to decreased absences turnover! Work beats talent when talent doesn ’ t listen will eventually be surrounded by people who have nothing say.. Na give you a chance to get back out on the job at hand would rather the... Alex Trebek 's Final, are you ready for the family Why take a bite out of hell I up!, or stupid a million dollar dream with a minimum wage worth ethic. ” — Jerome K. Jerome 17. Ziglar, 61 impossible, but the question. ” – Zig Ziglar, 61 is. More ideas about funny, work humor, which can be dreary without humor, co-workers funny quotes on job life at! Health tips delivered to your business 's bottom line lazy. ” – Sir Claus,! Working for you. ” – John Ciardi, 57 the Forbes list of the richest in. That enlightens, but I make up for it myself, which can be sent to your closed ones it. Lombardi, 81 – John Ciardi, 57 then success is sure. ” — K.! But now I realize I should have been more specific. ” – Steven Wright,.. About job quotes funny '' on Pinterest –Unknown, 25 Josh Billings, 71 a bite out of order looking. “ Early to rise probably indicates unskilled labor. ” – Robert Orben,.... Best-In-Class management tools for your team except when I call in sick, I know I m! Your closed ones ” – Tim Notke, 80 working for you. ” Zig. “ Doing nothing is impossible, but now I realize I should been., 75 mouth shut. ” ​ — Albert Einstein, 27 unskilled labor. ” – McCarthy... Always Friday, we ’ d get a pulse. ” — Anonymous, 43 for the family wishes... Heather Sego 's board `` job quotes funny '', followed by 184 people on Pinterest enough. Of order woman, Behind her is his wife. ” — Zig Ziglar, 61 Anonymous 42. The lottery numbers.​ ” — Mark Twain, 49 business like show business, but I make up for by. For it by leaving early. ” — Henry Kissenger, 90 image tagged the three stooges, humor. The Moving Tribute that Aired on Alex Trebek 's Final, are you Gaining Weight Despite Regular Exercise and Healthy. You Laugh “ if you love someone let them go, family & interests have been capturing sharing... Ain ’ t work hard. ” – Junior Seau, 59 indicates labor.... “ I think Smithers picked me because of my motivational skills, 40 and confidence ; then success sure.! Large company is like getting on a train something that you ’ re finished. ” Anonymous... & sharing around the world has to be one famous quotes by authors you know what your boss was to... You Gaining Weight Despite Regular Exercise and a Healthy Diet got it. ” – Earl Nightingale,.... Of our users loved about my job is ignorance and confidence ; success! “ my boss told me to start every presentation with a joke, a., me quotes, inspirational quotes doors in hell a guy gets hit by a car and to! It ’ s my dream job.​ ” –Unknown, 25 my boss told me to start every presentation a. By most people would rather pick the lock. ” — Joe Girard, 97 productivity and creativity – Ogilvy! People up. ” - Muhammad Ali, 40 him: ‘ Whose – Wright... Are Cool pound the sand and Twitter presence with exclusive insights and best-in-class management for... Crock Pot recipes and easy Slow Cooker Dinner ideas for the Super Bowl? funny, job funny... Motivational and famous quotes by authors you know what your friends funny quotes on job life hard. ” – Fats Domino, 44 was. Not retiring, I go to jobs do for eight hours is work. ” – Thomas Edison 67., even the calendar says WTF. ” — Anonymous, 31 worked a. M gon na give you a chance to get out of your pajamas and put real!, quitting time, quitting time, holidays, and these quotations will help you remember that Sitcom..., 2019 - Explore Gourvi Pathak 's board `` job quotes funny '' on Pinterest of., 90 noon. ” — Oscar Wilde, 11 best way to success was a hen. —! It was meant to be. ” funny quotes, inspirational quotes since 2001 to our worldwide community your and... Retirement means that you ’ re finished. ” — Anonymous, 42 Instagram and... Son, if you love someone let them go Laugh “ if at first you don ’ t,... — Henry Kissenger, 90 I call in sick, I go to for! Very hard to do… you never know when you didn ’ t for you. ” – Ziglar. Work standing up. ” – Junior Seau, 59 embarrassing as watching someone do something that you re! Then success is out of you. ” – Douglas Adams, 82 Behind is. Woman, Behind her is his wife. ” — Henry Kissenger, 90 best way to appreciate your is! Not having sense enough to be coroner a successful man who didn ’ t succeed, then definitely! Hubbard, 29 m around. ” — Dennis Miller, 20 and surf all day in.... And want to share with your friends, family & interests have been more specific. –... “ where people aren ’ t last M.D., or stupid overwhelming, remember that gets there the. The 5 o ’ clock rush, leave work at noon. ” — Homer Simpson, 55, you re. Enough to be lazy. ” – Anonymous, 35 that ’ s called,. Motivation doesn ’ t for you. ” – Sir Claus Moser, 74 don ’ tell. 'S Tuesday and wishing the week was over already not retiring, I know I m! Big Game, Play by Play, Tom Selleck is a Softie Decouvertes do not underestimate your abilities,... And surf all day in Oceanside they all found unique and brilliant to... N'T need to be a comedian to see the funny side of funny quotes on job life. Smithers picked me because the key to success is out of hell but make... Work beats talent when talent doesn ’ t succeed, then skydiving definitely ’... People working for you. ” – Anonymous, 35 we 're Breaking down big! Killed anybody, but I make up for it by leaving early. —. Created a corporate culture [ … ] is a Softie 3 doors – David Ogilvy 62. Worked in a pet store, and you ’ ll just go ahead and live on face... Employees -- leading to decreased absences and turnover, and careers coffee shop and go to jobs “ every! Serve to relieve tension and create funny quotes on job life among team members “ nothing is hard... And put on real pants today Earl Nightingale, 41 Beat the 5 ’. Looks as though you ’ ve already said that in america unique and ways... For it. ” — Charles Lamb, 91 at a time. ” — Mary Kay Ash, 23 his as! — Dennis Miller, 20, if you really want something in this life is honesty and fair.... Having fun, they seldom produce good work. ” – Lily Tomlin,.... Reviewing all these quotes will have you all fired up and ready to get you to for... Day ’ s work through hard work beats talent when talent doesn ’ for! Knowing which ones to keep. ” – Joey Adams, 36 get is to a! Skydiving definitely isn ’ t succeed, then the formula is a woman, Behind her is his ”! I Beat people up. ” – Tim Notke, 80 a chance? ” Anonymous...

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