When it comes to finances, do you see God as a spiritual vending machine, a far-off cosmic entity or a loving Lord who seeks your good more than you'll ever know? It states, “do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.” We are told to not be anxious, but how? . 6. Sure, there are no perfect couples, but that doesn't mean there shouldn't be a to live in righteousness and fidelity. 6. Keeping God in his rightful place is the key to a long, happy, and lasting marriage. He gives you the desire. The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love.” And in John 15:13 Jesus said, “Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.”. So if God is teaching you to desire marriage not just so you can be loved but so you can give sacrificial love to another, then God is also sanctifying your motives for marriage. I've served as a missionary, a pastor, and as a pastoral counselor. This does not mean that discomfort is a sign you're in the wrong place. Stay up to date with the latest Christian news! What is God preparing you for? Let me just remind you that t he right relationship won’t distract you from God. 1. My gift to you. Shutterstock "When your partner inspires you to be the best version of yourself, that is a key factor in knowing they are marriage material," says Rori Sassoon, dating expert and CEO and Co-Founder of Platinum Poire. 5. However, if you find multiple signs working against you, then it’s time you … So when you do not know what the Bible states in regards to motives and marriage, you will not have, So if you are experiencing a worldly grief that is causing an unhelpful, If you are learning to love and follow God regardless of whether he will let you get married one day, God is actually, One of the primary goals as a Christian is not to just get loved by others but to let your, Perhaps throughout this article you’ve been asking, “Okay, I get that God wants me to sanctify my motives for marriage. Marriage no longer determines your identity. So even when it comes to relationship with another human, ultimately even that relationship is meant to bring God glory. You have a sound understanding of who God is to you. . Praise God. I want you to know today that God has got you. Please click here to learn how. But ultimately, the main motive God wants you to have for marriage is the main motive God wants you to have for everything you do in life –. There is absolutely no guarantee your future spouse will continue to love you. Let me prove it. Pray together, serve together, and fall in love with each other every single day. These traits are most evident in a person who has an intimate relationship with God. Jesus once taught the disciples to seek service rather than glory in the realm of leadership. It is first and foremost the glory of experiencing more of Christ through each other. Consider going to my sponsor Faithful Counseling for professional, affordable, Christian counseling. So that's what AGW is all about! The basics of life remain. When we walk by the Spirit in our marriage, we will be able to walk in love for our spouse more and more. Philippians 3:14 tells us, "I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Notice the coordinating conjunctions “but” that immediately follows the imperative “do not be anxious.” So every time we feel anxious this is meant to remind us to pray. The Bible is jammed packed with advice on marriage. But when the law was rediscovered Nehemiah made sure all the people heard it. And Nehemiah, who was the governor, and Ezra the priest and scribe, and the Levites who taught the people said to all the people, ‘This day is holy to the Lord your God; do not mourn or weep.’ For all the people wept as they heard the words of the Law. If God Is Giving You the Needed Relationship Experience to Meet, Date, and Marry the One He Has for You, This Could Be a Sign that God Is Preparing You for Marriage Sometimes we have a desire for marriage before we are equipped to be married. It simply means you promise before God and man that you will love someone with the love of Christ until you or your spouse dies. The problem with a silent house is the absence of emotional connection. Here are seven signs to look out for, and to also aim for as well. One of the primary goals as a Christian is not to just get loved by others but to let your faith in God be expressed in your love for others. I’m currently offering 3 courses and one of those courses is called Heart Check. This reality doesn’t suddenly change the moment you exchange vows. We need to be ready for when God gives us the gift of a spouse. If God Is Deepening Your Knowledge of His Love for You, This Can Also Be a Sign He Is Preparing You for a Loving Marriage God is the author of love. 4. So even when it comes to relationship with another human, ultimately even that relationship is meant to bring God glory. You seek Jesus more than anything else. When the Spirit convicts you of having improper marriage motives, he will do so in a way that makes you feel loved and cared for, because why would God care to correct you if he did not really love you? 4. The same truth applies in our marriages. If you put more faith in signs than in the revealed Word of God, you’ll be tempted to disregard wisdom and to overlook what God has already told us in the Bible. If you have tried couples counseling and did not see improvements it’s time to rethink your marriage. You seek to serve more than being served. But it’s not because you and your spouse shed the tedium of daily life. Silence might be just as deadly as violence when it comes to marriage. The paperback version is available for $12.99. If God Has Been Teaching You that Love Is About Sacrificing Yourself for Someone Else, This Is a Sign God Is Sanctifying Your Motives for Marriage, It’s not wrong to want to be loved, but many people end up very disappointed in relationships because they are going into it thinking this is where they will finally feel loved by another. So when you do not know what the Bible states in regards to motives and marriage, you will not have good motives for marriage. But if you are largely content where you are, open to God’s timing but making the most of your present place, and you sense a sudden restlessness, God could be calling you to a new location, job, ministry or relationship. God Is Preparing You for a Loving Marriage If . 6 Signs God Is Preparing You for Marriage By Sanctifying Your Motives 1. You have healthy boundaries in place…and you live by them. Our marriages are no different. A marriage is a bad source of all of this. With that in mind, here are six ways that God is leading you to the one. God knows it is not good for man to be by himself. As you prepare yourself for marriage, focus on allowing God to shape you and mold you into the man or woman He wants you to be (Romans 12:1-2). You seek the fruits of the Spirit. The correction might come in the form of a job loss, a pay cut, or some unforeseen circumstances that nearly breaks your bank, however God isn’t going to leave you or forsake you (Heb 13:5), but He does discipline every son or daughter He loves (Heb 12:6). Experiencing a low time in your ministry “I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. Unfortunately, marriage does not mean you will be intimately loved by someone forever. But what are the biblical and right motives for marriage?” There are many healthy motives for marriage: to be loved, to give love, companionship, increased ministry fruitfulness, to start a family, and much more. You sense your work is done. 4 Signs You are in a Ministry Transition. So if you are having anxiety about being single, about dating, or about a particular person you have feelings for, this is a sign God is asking you to come to him in prayer about those specific issues. eval(ez_write_tag([[336,280],'christiantoday_com-box-3','ezslot_0',113,'0','0'])); Marriage isn't rocket science, but it's no joke either. My passion is to help others apply God's truth to every aspect of life for his glory and our enjoyment of him. "eval(ez_write_tag([[580,400],'christiantoday_com-medrectangle-4','ezslot_3',150,'0','0'])); 7. In much the same way, you and I go through spiritually dormant seasons. Hebrews 13:4, ESV "Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous". Companionship is not the ultimate prize of marriage. When you pray and ask God to make you into the kind of wife your future husband needs, you are preparing yourself for a better marriage. I thank you that I can trust you with every single detail of my life, that everything that matters to me matters to you. You might have some indications about the future as you move through your seasons. As Ephesians 5:31-32 says, “‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.”. Ideally the giving is mutual from both sides so both the man and woman give and receive love, but as an individual your first thought must not be, “How can I get love?” but rather, “How can I give love to this other person?”, As Galatians 5:5-6 (NIV) states, “For through the Spirit we eagerly await by faith the righteousness for which we hope. When things start falling apart, possibly because you and I are doing something contrary to God’s will, He will gently nudge us with a bit of correction. God allows anxiety to build in our hearts as a way of letting us know we need to seek him to strengthen us. Enter Eve, pro-creation, and marriage (not necessarily in that order). God does not want you to stay grieved, for his word corrects us to bring us close to God, “for the joy of the Lord is your strength.”. Then he said to them, ‘Go your way. Learn God’s design for marriage now to benefit you later on down the road. It will bring you closer to Him. Subscribe to AGW Ministries and you'll get short, practical, and Christ-centered content sent right to your inbox. God may want to change you or your spouse before He brings your family back together. You can't take care of another if you can't take care of yourself and that means growing spiritually, caring for our health and seeking our own personal growth. It's completely free - my gift to you. As Ephesians 5:31-32 says, “‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.”. I thank you for all that you are, and all that you are preparing me to be. 3. For as 1 Corinthians 10:31 states, “So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.”, The “whatever you do” truly means “whatever you do.” It’s not hyperbole. Just as being thirsty is a sign you need water, and being hungry is a sign you need food, and being tired is a sign you need sleep – anxiety is a sign you need more trust in God. Just type in your email address below. But really relationships at their best are less about receiving and more about giving. You desire marriage. When it comes to love and marriage, feelings aren’t the best gauge for God’s will. It could be a gradual revelation, where little by little you see growth. He is love and he made marriage to reflect that love. When we apply this to our desire for marriage in singleness, this means that our motives seem fine until we start looking at them through the lens of God’s holiness. But through your season of singleness God will sanctify your motives for marriage by making you secure in Christ first and foremost. When you are confused about what will happen in your future in regards to marriage, you then have the opportunity to continue to be faithful to God as you follow him or you can reject God because you want him to give you a spouse and he isn’t doing this in your timeline. Get your copy of The Ultimate Guide to Christian Singleness and access to all of our eBooks. When we seek to be on the receiving end all the time, we'll just be in bad spiritual and emotional positions.eval(ez_write_tag([[580,400],'christiantoday_com-medrectangle-3','ezslot_1',156,'0','0'])); 3. Here are 6 signs God is helping you sanctify your motives for your future marriage. I believe our specific anxieties should lead us to pray about those specific issues causing the anxiety. That’s not to say marriage doesn’t improve life. But then when you come back and hear his truth once more, you are grieved to repentance. 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It is first and foremost the glory of experiencing more of Christ through each other. Marriage is a gift from God, but it is nonetheless a gift we must be ready to receive. A lot has to happen on the inside of us before we are ready to handle the future God has for us. As it is, I rejoice, not because you were grieved, but because you were grieved into repenting. If you are experiencing a high level of discomfort in your current situation, this open door may be God’s opportunity to release you from your peril. Sanctity is your priority. By establishing a relationship with God, He then teaches us about ourselves. It is critical that while you are faithfully standing for your marriage, that you are also allowing God, day by day to change and purify your life. We all know that's a formula for certain disaster! 5. Proverbs 21:2 states, “Every way of a man is right in his own eyes, but the Lord weighs the heart.”. Notice the flow found in Philippians 4:6 that teaches how anxiety should lead us to prayer instead. Nothing more, nothing less. 8. For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death.”. When You Know You Truly Want to Be Married to Glorify God, This Is a Sign God Is Telling You Your Heart Is Ready for a Relationship This is actually one of the big topics I discuss in AGW University. There is a good amount of conversation back and forth. Imagine receiving a car for a gift from your parents but you don't have a driver's license. If God Is Teaching You to Follow Him Even When You Are Single for Longer Than You Want, This Is a Sign God Is Also Sanctifying Your Motives for Your Future Marriage. The first instance in the Bible where God is not pleased comes when God sees Adam living in the Garden of Eden alone (Gen. 2:18). 1. Anyone who enters marriage expecting it to infuse life with excitement and meaning is in for a surprise. The “whatever you do” truly means “whatever you do.” It’s not hyperbole. God is also the author of marriage. Here are 3 signs God might be preparing you for marriage. Continuing on with the importance of repentance, the Holy Spirit produces a “godly grief” rather than a “worldly grief” in his loving conviction. In Psalms 139:13-14 (NIV) it says,” For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. It could be a complete mystery, in which you have no choice but to walk by faith. Above all you must understand that in “standing” your faith must be in God … These principles apply to specific areas of our lives as well. As you’ve already seen, looking for and trusting in signs easily leads to confusion. Marriage demands commitment, passion, humility, love, and respect. How do we know we're ready for marriage? If you are learning to love and follow God regardless of whether he will let you get married one day, God is actually preparing you for a healthy marriage too. Here are four signs that you may be in a God-appointed time of transition in your gift or calling, along with some keys to help you move forward: 1. Thank … You may not be able to recognize His actions at first, but He is leading you through little things that seem like coincidences. One of the tests God puts singles through who desire to be married one day is the test of confusion. Feel free to email me with any questions or comments at markballenger@applygodsword.com. As Jesus once said, we are to love our neighbors AS ourselves (Mark 12:31), not more than ourselves. And do not be grieved, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.’”, When you forget God’s word or ignore his truths, you start wandering away from God. What I mean is that if you go into your future marriage with the expectation of this other human making you happy in ways only God can, you will actually have a very unhappy marriage. 2. So when you find the right person, remember to always keep God that the center of your heart and marriage. AGW Ministries is meant to be an online blessing to you. This correction could bring you int… If God Has Been Highlighting Biblical Truth to You that Points to the Importance of Pure Motives, God Could Be Teaching You to Specifically Sanctify Your Motives for Marriage, When we ignore what the Bible says about motives in general, it affects our specific application of these truths, including in regards to our motives for marriage. In love God wants the best for you, and so if you have bad motives for marriage, the Holy Spirit will give you a godly grief that will produce a healthy repentance. For as 2 Corinthians 7:8-10 states: For even if I made you grieve with my letter, I do not regret it—though I did regret it, for I see that that letter grieved you, though only for a while. But ultimately, the main motive God wants you to have for marriage is the main motive God wants you to have for everything you do in life – to glorify God. You have learned to love yourself. God, though, might be giving you the signs that you are ready. It's all free! Plus you get FREE access to all of our eBooks. Only Jesus is the true source of a secured identity. But what are the biblical and right motives for marriage?” There are many healthy motives for marriage: to be loved, to give love, companionship, increased ministry fruitfulness, to start a family, and much more. – Matthew 6:33. The same is true in marriage. To enjoy our website, you'll need to enable JavaScript in your web browser. You love this person just for being them. As 1 Peter 5:7 states, “Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.”, 2. I know that in your perfect timing, when you see fit, you will bring us both together to love and serve you. Are you seeking to get married to gain approval, acceptance or status? If God Is Teaching You to Respect Other People’s Opinions Even When You Disagree, This Is a Good Sign He Is Preparing You for a Loving Future Marriage There certainly does need to be some high level form of compatibility between a man and woman for them to pursue marriage. Hi, I'm Mark Ballenger and I'm so happy you've come to ApplyGodsWord.com. Note that just a couple of signs among these may not necessarily mean that your marriage is breaking. Hebrews 13:4, ESV "Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous" 6. He might be pushing you to take that next step, but you have to listen out for His guidance. Do you want to love and know God better and better every day? The second greatest commandment is not just a call to love others but to also love yourself the right way. And love is always about doing what’s best for the other person at whatever personal cost is required of you. You are evolving as a woman (John 15:2): When God is leading you to the one, He will often prepare you for the relationship unbeknownst to you. If You Have Relationship Anxiety and Stress Right Now that Is Causing You to Turn to God, This Is Often a Sign God Is Sanctifying Your Motives for Marriage. CHRISTIAN COUNSELING // Struggling and need help? If You Have Relationship Anxiety and Stress Right Now that Is Causing You to Turn to God, This Is Often a Sign God Is Sanctifying Your Motives for Marriage God allows anxiety to build in our hearts as a way of letting us know we need to seek him to strengthen us. God uses struggle and suffering to sharpen and refine us, and birth something new. Companionship is not the ultimate prize of marriage. But my favorite act of serving God is revealing his truth in written format. 2. I have a Master's Degree in Pastoral Counseling, I've been married since 2008, we have two wild children, and we live in Cleveland, Ohio. For as Philippians 3:8 states, “Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord.”, 5. It’s pure love. If there's anything you'll need more when you get married, it's the fruit of the Spirit that brings love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23). So if you are experiencing a worldly grief that is causing an unhelpful depression and self-hatred, that is not the Holy Spirit convicting you. Many people walk down the aisle thinking they're ready to commit to a lifelong partnership only to regretfully end it a few years later. "Being in a committed relationship with someone who pushes and drives you toward your aspirations and goals solidifies that they want what's best for you," she explains. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. In the times of Nehemiah, the people had lost the book of the law and thus disregarded God’s truth. 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